in which Lady Lemon leaves the state of Florida

No, no I'm not quitting my job. I wish.

I'm traveling, if you can believe it. It's been quite some time since I have done such a thing. My last journey out of Florida was for my birthday, almost a year ago. The boyfriend, the dogs, and I went to Chattanooga and Lookout Mountain last year around this time and spent a few days away from the heat. We've actually done that on my birthday for the last two years in a row. It's nice because my dad has a place up there, so other than gas money, it's a pretty cheap little vacation.

This year, things have taken a rather different turn.

My good friend is getting married, and despite the fact that Tallahassee is her home town, she is not doing it here. No, she's getting married in Long Island, which is where she lives now. Sort of a break from tradition, I guess, since it seems that most people get married in the place they were brought up.

Being the wonderful and dutiful friend that I am (dusts shoulders off), I could not miss out on such an occaision, despite the crushing economic implications. Not to mention, I'm a bridesmaid. A title which requires a rather expensive uniform.

So, seeing as how her wedding is to take place two days after my birthday, I decided to make it a two-fer. NYC birthday/wedding extraganza 2009, baby!!

The plans are roughly as follows: fly into NYC on the 5th, spend the 5th and 6th in Manhattan. My birthday is the 6th, so it works out perfectly that we will have that day in the city. Plus, boyfriend has never been there before so it will be most fun to experience it through his virginal eyes. Then, we will head over to Long Island on the 7th, which will be the night of her rehersal dinner. The 8th will be the wedding and the 9th we will head back home.

Whew, just typing that sort of wore me out. It is certainly not going to be one of those relaxing-type vacations. No, not at all. But, such is the nature of The City. It's all "go-go-go", and "hop on the train QUICKLY, or else it will slam shut on your arm as you reach out to your fellow traveler already on said train".

Or, at least, that has been my experience.

I've already bought the plane tickets for myself and boyfriend. He is going to be paying for the two nights that we will stay in Long Island, at a room I have already booked for us. But, that left our bank accounts empty and still two nights in Manhattan left to pay for. Not to mention the INSANE expense that is associated with bridesmaids dresses. Ugh.

So, what to do?

I asked my father if he would pay for the two nights in Manhattan as a birthday gift for me. Now, my father really hates to part with money, so this idea took him a bit of getting used to. But, the one thing my father LOVES(other than Sai Baba)? Getting a good deal. It's like crack for him. So, I got down to researching some deals on Orbitz and found possibly the greatest deal ever.

Two nights, one room. Reasonable price (for Manhattan) at the WALDORF-ASTORIA!!! I know, right?!? I thought the chances were slim, but hey, it's worth a shot at this price, and maybe, just maybe, he'll go for it. So, I present dad with the information. He is very skeptical. He calls American Express (his go to source) to see what kind of rates they have for the W.A. The best price that they had for a room was almost 3 times my Orbitz rate!!!

Dad knows a deal when he sees one. So, for my birthday, I will be slumbering in the Waldorf Astoria!!! The hotel the KING stays in when he comes to NYC in "Coming to America". which is one of my boy friends favorite and most-watched movies. He keeps looking at me all wide-eyed and saying "the KING stayed there and I'm going to be taking a shit in the same place the king stayed!!". It's so fucking cute.

So, I'm going to NYC and I am going to stay in the mother fucking Waldorf-Astoria??!! For my birthday???!! I think I must be dreaming. Hell, maybe I'm dead.

Three weeks! In three weeks I will finally journey away from my home. I will go to the craziest of crazy cities and spend the night in the craziest of crazy hotels. If they don't turn us back at the door for being the bumpkins that we are.







*note - I also intend to stalk the shit out of cleaning staff so I can steal whatever sorts of fancy tolietries that have in their carts. Can you tell I stay in fancy places, like, all the time?