I've been having a shitter of a day so far, which is unusual for a Friday. Usually with a weekend ahead there is very little that can get me down. Today, no. Maybe I'm dealing with some hormonal shit? Must be that bitch, the Moon, again. (Note: the Moon, not Ms Moon. I would never call you a bitch. Celestial bodies, on the other hand have no reprieve from my wrath!)
After purchasing $761 worth of plane tickets (dude, shit), I had a rather unpleasant conversation with my father which melted me into a sad, teary puddle. The details of this conversation in particular were nothing shocking or extreme, just the kind of stuff I really should be used to by now. I ended up crying on the phone to my mother, which made me feel slightly better. Of course there is nothing that she can do to change him, but she can at least understand where I am coming from and that helps.
I just get so jealous of people who have good relationships with their fathers. There are so many good daddies out there in the world. So many men who love to be fathers. Who love to spend time with their children. Who want to get to really KNOW their children and want those children to know them. And I know, as Aunt Becky would say "How dare you complain when others have it so much worse! There are people without feet and legs!" - which never fails to amuse me. Some people never had fathers, never got to even meet them. Some people have lost their fathers. Some people's fathers abused them. My dad never did that, certainly. But, still. I want to have a daddy that they feel close to.
I want this so bad with my dad, and even though I know I'm fighting a losing battle. As my mother said today, "you just have to lower your expectations." And I know. I KNOW that's the truth. So, why is that so hard to do? Why do I still try to expect things from my dad that I know he won't give me? CAN'T give me?
This is just a part of growing up. I just need to suck it up and the sooner I do, the sooner I will feel better about it.
SO! I think a little good shit/bad shit might be in order to pull me out of this funk! Without further ado:
Good: *good daddies *traveling! - I'm going to NYC in a month!!!!! *cocacola classic - I know, it's evil as shit. It'll rot your teeth. But, oh it's worth it. *stand alone ice makers - we have one of these babies at my office. It makes perfect little square pieces of ice with the perfect texture. And they never taste like the fridge, because it's not in the fridge! I love it. When I'm rich one day (ha!) I will totally have one in every room of my mansion. *basil - omg, I love this stuff. Bruschetta, anyone? *The Princess Bride - totally one of the best movies ever made. I could quote the whole thing AND sing the song.
BAD *foul breath - I hate smelling other people's stank breath. For some reason, the stank breath of my pets does not bother me. Go fig. *turds on the floor - when you are potty training an animal, any day without one is a good day. *My utilities bill - that shit was well over $300 this month. And I live in a small two bedroom. Yeah. *Sprint - I have them as my phone carrier and cannot wait until my fucking contract is up. My service is utter shite and customer service? Ha! *weddings/bridesmaid dresses - I am in the middle of dealing with one of each of these. I've never been more anti-wedding in my LIFE!
Ugh. These aren't very entertaining. Sorry, I'm just in the shitter today. I do feel slightly better now, though. Thanks.
So, what is making you blue today? A person? Your bank account? The weather? Let me hear about it.